And then I'll remember again...

Don't Tell Anyone

You might say you know the way inside me
But I don't have the words to take you there
Yesterday I found a caterpillar on my shoulder.
It's been ten years.

Passing places, way by way
I saw the place you jumped and disappeared.
I don't think we'll ever know the things you saw inside that day.

Oh and I might pray
But don't tell anyone.

A Passing Thought

so now i'm here and questions arise
i had strange dreams last night
that phonecall this morning was stranger
do i really want to be dragged back in?
kicking and screaming?

i think i know what i have to do.

i'm just afraid i'll be wrong again.

Pink Street Light

I wasn't living in a real moment
When the sky decided to pick me up
And throw me in the back
Behind the pink street light
My sister painted when she was drunk.
And I was shocked because she was still a child in my head.
We're all still children in our heads
Sometimes.
So please wind me up,
And maybe I'll get somewhere
Before this night is out
Before this year is out
Before my life is out
It goes that fast
Sometimes.

Whisper

when i couldn't sleep...

i need you now
but you're not here
i could cry out
but pointless things won't make you appear
i'm suddenly back
back in big trees
pulling at things i can't quite see
and you're somewhere
twenty minutes by car
i could drive there
but it seems so far.

Lost Here

i might be lost here,
in this vastness,
oceanside
pounding...pounding...
intoxicated by your influence
i am moving with these changes.
i feel like crying, and sometimes trying,
so alone yet so in love.

Journal Entry 9: Up in the Air (almost over Paris) 28th July 2007

In about three hours I should be back in Ireland but only if we make our connecting flight to Dublin from London. We're cutting it ultra close though so if we get caught in long queues and over the top security checks we could be spending a night in London. I'm so dying for my bed, I really hope that doesn't happen.

It feels weird coming home after everything I've seen and done. It doesn't feel real. I'm not sure what does. I think about sitting drinking Tusker in Jawambe and it feels so dreamlike. Or so far away already. I really don't want to go back...in some ways. Seeing Kenya just opened up this door - and I've so much crap waiting for me in Dublin, eugh. But I'll go, and I'll deal - I'll fix what's broken and try some new ways. I now have a lot behid me that might help with things. But first I'd really love some Buffalo Wings.

Camara Team Kenya 2007

Journal Entry 8: Nairobi 18:40

I just had my first hot shower in a month. I feel like I might faint.

Journal Entry 7: On the Nairobi Express 27th July 2007

And so the end is very nigh. In less than 24 hours, all going to plan, we will be en route to London, Heathrow and then our homeland will beckon. Should be home around 6.30 tomorrow evening. Weird.


Right now I'm sitting in my first class cabin on my bed/seat with Maria sleeping above me on the train to Nairobi. It's fantastic. The train was scheduled to leave last night at 7pm. We were informed that it's fairly unreliable though. It left at around 8.30 so it wasn't too bad. In the meantime we stocked up on Tusker for the trip and I learned how to play the Jambo song off a busker at the station. His name is Leonard and he was so cool. I watched him play and noticed his strings were really awful. Must have been about ten years old, tied to his guitar like! I remembered I had a box of those DR strings in my case so I grabbed them and gave them to him. I'm really glad I thought of it, he was really happy with them. And I think it's nice that they'll go to good use.


Then we hopped on the train and it left the station. There was no electricity so the only light we had was from these battery powered lights they handed out. They didn't help much and went out after an hour. It was unbelievably hot when we first got on and there were mosquitos everywhere! They were massive and for the first time I felt myself getting bitten. I looked down at my arm where I felt a sligh pinch and saw this huge mosquito biting in. Ew!! It was freaky.

We went for dinner on the train which cost 700 shillings and was disgusting. After the meal the train stopped. At first I thought it was just at a station or something but after a while we realised it was some sort of problem. We sat there for about, hm, 4 hours before we finally started moving again.

In the meantime I got the guitar out and started playing some songs only to be interupted by loud banging on the wall next to us. Obviously people weren't too happy. We moved down to where the others were and had a bit of a singsong there. After a while we moved back down to where we had dinner earlier and played cards til the remaining lights ran out. One by one everyone left for bed leaving Eileen, Avril, Maria and me singing our drunken hearts out and discussing films til 4. It was brilliant!! Singing 80's classics on the train to Nairobi. How very surreal.

So far today has been good. I didn't have a great sleep but I still woke at nine and felt fairly refreshed so I got up and hung out with Avril and Tom for a while. We should be in at about 3. It'll be so weird leaving the group tomorrow, one month can be a long time when you're living in each other's pockets - and it felt a lot longer than that.

A little girl we passed by on the train.

Tom poses out the window of train to Nairobi.

Sidebar: The missing pages

So at this point my journal becomes quiet because I ended up spending two nights in the wonderful Agha Khan Hospital as Maria was admitted with severe dehydration. Colin was also admitted the following evening and we all enjoyed the comforts of the hospital. We watched Arrested Development on the dvd player loaned to us by the very thoughtful Mama Jawambe. We ate biscuits and crisps from the wonderful Nakumatt and even managed to fit in some classic Neighbours which was from totally the best time too. (Sky and Lana anyone?)

Colin relaxing on the cosy Agha Khan couch.

The others went on to our final destination, Malindi but sadly we did not make it. When Colin and Maria got out of hospital we had a few days to take it easy. We went to the Reef Hotel again, discovered somewhere even better than the Nakumatt, Dormans Coffee Shop, oh! and myself and Maria finished Harry Potter *sniff*.

Colin and June having a ball at the Reef Hotel.

After a few days of rest, everyone seemed a lot better so on the Wednesday of the final week we all headed to Likoni Island to visit an orphanage there. It was a real eye opener meeting all these wonderful children who just had nothing but each other. And they were so happy! We were shown around the orphanage and the church which was part of it and met lots of people involved. It was really fantastic.


We were then shown the area they were hoping to use as a computer room in time. We couldn't believe it. It was literally just bricks and sand.


Overall, I was really happy that we went along to see the orphanage that day. I really learned a lot. It was very moving in so many ways. I almost got to play guitar with a gospel choir but couldn't manage to tune and ended up looking like a silly mzungu pop idol wannabe, hah.

Journal Entry 6: Safari-tastic 21st July 2007

From the beginning of the trip to Boru and beforehand Kevin and Eileen thought it'd be a nice idea to maybe take a Safari trip whilst there as it was the perfect place to do so. In order to do it all properly we'd have to be up at 5.30 and there at 6.30. Because of the early start and the beginning of sickness for a few of the team, a few opted out but Kevin, Maria, Avril and myself decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

It nearly didn't happen the next morning due to tiredness, sickness, lack of transport, lack of time but we overcame all odds and managed to go on safari. It was by far one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We saw elephants, giraffes, buffalo, zebra, some ultra unusual birds, and I managed to spot a cheetah earlier on too.


We also had the most amazing breakfast in the lodge. My god I missed breakfasts like that. Anyway, the safari was definitely one of the highlights of the trip for me. I got some amazing photos, can't wait to show everyone at home. I really can't word properly how the trip made me feel - just driving along the red sandy road with my head out the top of the safari van seeing the most incredible things, feeling the most incredible things...it was just out of this world.

Journal Entry 5: Jawambe 21st July 2007

The past few days have been a bit dramatic and not too good. After our trip to Boru on Wednesday and Thursday a large bulk of the group became really sick. Tom and June had really bad stomach cramps and sickness, Avril had the same but she'd been feeling that way a little longer than the others. Yesterday Maria was complaining of dizziness when we were filming over at Ganjoni. We told Eileen and she told us to go home and rest (we were supposed to teach later on that day). Maria ended up fainting just as we got back to Jawambe but luckily Gary was around to help. I was so worried.

We brought her to the hospital later and they did some tests. Ruled out malaria thankfully but said she was dehydrated. They gave her medication anyway and she's on the mend. Colin also came down with a fever yesterday, shivering and generally unwell. He also went to the hospital and they also ruled out malaria. I was feeling a little dodgy last night myself but nothing on the scale of the others. I slept a lot and had an early night and I'm totally back to normal today. Today is the day of the MEWA ceremony and also the release of Harry Potter. Really hope they have it in the Nakumatt.

Boru

So, on Wednesday we went to Boru for two days. Boru is four hours outside Mombasa. It's very remote, a bit colder than Mombasa and full of snakes apparently, although we only saw the one Black Mamba, and it was dead. It was really cool to see another side of Kenya. We stayed in a sort of hostel type place, very basic down to the lectrine and infested with ants and things. I was a little freaked out. I was surprised when Kevin said we'd have hot water in the morning though, until he explained that the man who runs the place would come around with a bucket of hot water for us to wash with. Hah :p The place itself and location was really beautiful though.


On the first day Maria and myself taught in this gorgeous boarding school called Boru Girls Secondary School. It was such an amazing place. We had to drive for ages up the cliffs of Boru...it was really freaky, just kept getting higher and higher on this ultra bumpy road - a very long way down. The scenery from the school was just unreal. It was so picturesque. The girls there were so lovely. Afterwards we got talking to a few of them and swapped addresses so hopefully we'll keep in touch.


The teaching wasn't brilliant for us sadly. The teachers seemed a little unenthusiastic and quite a few of the computers stopped working throughout the class. We also only had three hours with them which is just nothing. The others continued the teaching the following day though and said that things went really well so I think they warmed to us in the end and gained something from the short experience.

Journal Entry 4: Mbheni 17th July 2007

Back in Mbheni today randomly. The power was gone again in Central Girls School so we had to get the teachers to come here. Really annoying and extra tiring for everyone involved but at least we have the working computers here now and can get the course finished. I did Writer earlier and Charlie is doing Calc now. Craig is here too and he's doing some work for MEWA for Saturday.

I heard from Bob today. He's going to see Wallis Bird tonight. I'm jealous til I look around me. It was lovely hearing from him though. I like thinking of Ireland when I'm so far away. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends again, and eating some buffalo wings in the Woolshed. It's been raining since we left there.

16:01

Philip just picked me up from Mbheni. On our way to pick up the others now. Then myself and Maria will be heading to Ganjoni to talk to one of the computer teachers about web design. Sounds really interesting so I'm looking forward to that.

Our day ended well. Had lunch in the ever amazing Nakumatt. Myself, Tom and June have decided to write a song about it. It's THAT good. Back in school we did Wikipedia which went well as always. I had some really nice chats with some of the teachers which I really enjoyed. One was very inquisitive about Ireland. It was nice telling her about home.

Journal Entry 3: Central Girls Primary School, Mombasa - July 16th '07

The weekend off was really good. I felt great this morning, totally refreshed for a hard enough week ahead. This week we'll be working every day and travelling quite a bit too, so I am a little wary of that but looking forward to the challenge.

On Saturday night we headed out to the cinema and managed to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Totally didn't think we'd get to see it here, I am very content. We also found out the bookshop in the almighty Nakumatt will sell the new book on Saturday so that's me and Maria set for the next week. Can't wait.

We spent yesterday (Sunday) at the Reef Hotel overlooking the Ocean here in Mombasa. We took advantage of the hotel's large outdoor swimming pool and indoor table tennis and pool tables. The food was good afterwards although sadly the strawberry mousse was not the same as it was in the Grand Hotel on my first Holy Communion so my taking half a cake full before actually tasting it was probably a bad idea. I managed to off load most of it onto the others. June said it tasted like the lining of a sofa. She was right.

The day was really great though. We topped it off with a game of poker. We're all still learning and Charlie wasn't around so it was a little dodgy with Kevin's ever changing rules and Eileen wanting to show everyone her cards but after about ten games I feel we're really beginning to grasp it.

Today I'm back with Charlie and Maria and we're teaching in Central Girls Primary School in Mombasa. The people here are lovely, the children are the coolest, but sadly the computer room isn't great. Severe lack of sockets, ventilation and it's a really small and cramped room. The computer lab went down after lunch. We got back to the classroom after our break to find the power gone. Although we were used to long power cuts in Lamu it hasn't really happened as much here in Mombasa. And anytime it has done, it hasn't lasted more than twenty minutes. Anyway, we figured we'd do the assessment and then hopefully get onto writer once the power came back. The assessment went on for about a half an hour - still no power. About ten minutes after that we'd almost given up when the lights came back on. We told everyone to turn on their computers to find they still wouldn't start.


Not really sure what the problem was but I presume it was something to do with the surge protector that was only put in this morning. We couldn't fix the problem so had to cut the day short. Really disappointing and frustrating.

Jawambe 20:37

Playing cards now back in Jawambe. Had food in our new favourite place, the Nakumatt, hah. No chicken though so I wasn't happy about that. And I think them having Buffalo Wings on the menu is false advertising and is mean.

Tom and June show just how much they love the Nakumatt.

Tomorrow Maria and Tom are filming so I'll be teaching with Charlie and Craig. Hopefully that'll go alright. On Wednesday we'll be heading to Boru which is four hours away and fairly remote. It sounds really interesting and is meant to be nice so I'm really looking forward to that. I think it's great that we're getting to see so much of Kenya while here. The city, by the sea and the countryside - it's so interesting. Hopefully we'll also get to catch a safari while there.

On Thursday I've the day off although we'll be travelling back to Mombasa in the afternoon. On Friday I'm hoping to sit in on Maria and Tom filming in Ganjoni Primary School which is across the way from Jawambe. They'll be getting the children there to teach them what they know on the computers which should be fun. So that's pretty much the week ahead. Then on Saturday we've the MEWA ceremony, where we'll be handing out the certificates to all the teacher's we've taught so far so really looking forward to that and to seeing everyone again. Then we'll spend our last week in Malindi and hopefully get the train to Nairobi before heading home.

It's so strange to think that we'll be home in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to the initial shock and strangeness of being back but god, I'm really going to miss this place. Everything still feels surreal. Sort of like I've been dreaming it all. Even Lamu seems so far away now, let alone Ireland. I can't wait to like, think about all of this properly. It's hard to get alone time now without feeling like I'm missing something.

Journal Entry 2 - Yumbe House, Lamu Island 10th July 2007

I'm very disappointed in myself for not keeping this writing up but I'm finding it hard to just break away, step back and write. Some writer I am! We're now on the island of Lamu. We arrived here on Sunday and it's now Tuesday.

The trip from Mombasa to Lamu was pretty hardcore. It was an 8 hour bus ride. That's grand til you see the road we travelled on. It was slightly bumpy. Slightly being a severe understatement. It was kinda fun though, I enjoyed it and we had a good laugh. We played travel scrabble which kept us entertained for a few hours :p


We had yesterday off and I spent a good bulk of it swimming in the Indian Ocean. So unreal. This place is out of this world. But it really is. The people are so laid back and cool, everyone says hello when you pass, and welcomes you to Lamu. The food is exquisite, the best I've ever had. I was worried when I was told it was mainly seafood but it's all I've been eating and I love it! I really will miss this place when we leave it on Friday. Back to Mombasa we shall go.

Arriving on Lamu Island.

I'll be off shortly to teach in Stonetown Acadamy, which lies beautifully on the ocean front. If I went to that school I would never pay attention, the view from the windows is far too nice. I really can't describe the beauty of this island, you just have to experience it. There are no cars here, just donkeys. The streets are so narrow, we have to walk in single file. Electricity is rationed so every day at some point the power will go, luckily so far it's just been at night so the lessons haven't suffered. I plan to come back here soon, Lamu is one of the greatest places I have ever been to.

Colin teaching in Stonetown Academy, Lamu.

Journal Entry 1 - Mombasa, 4th July 2007

Three days in and Dublin seems so far away now. Another world. Things have been busy and eventful. I've seen more in the past three days than I have over the past three years! It's so surreal yet all in front of me.

Right now I'm sitting drinking Tusker in the terrace of the Jawambe Hotel B+B. Maria is quietly strumming my bargain €60 guitar I found in the Buy and Sell before I left. Charlie is reading up on Lamu in his East African Lonely Planet and informing Craig about our third destination. I feel like we've done and seen so much in so little time and have so much ahead of us. I'm very excited.

The neon lights of Jawambe, the place we called home.

We have two days of teaching behind us and I really feel they were very successful. The teachers we taught were really interested and enthusiastic about what we were showing them. Wikipedia was definitely the highlight - understandably. (On every Camara computer that goes out to Africa there is a special Wikipedia CD-ROM included with 2,000 articles so the internet isn't needed, and the people using it can get a feel for what Wikipedia can do). The concept of there being millions and millions more articles online really wowed them. The fact that they can't afford an hour online in an internet cafe is a sad truth.

We crammed a lot into the two days we had. It was very impressive that the teachers could take so much in - something like that should take quite a few weeks as computing is so complex! Everything seemed to lead onto a million new things. You tell them to put their file into a folder and realise they don't know what a folder is. Explaining is harder than you might think. I take so much for granted! Personally I would have liked a bit more time to explain some things better but I am very very happy with what we have achieved so far. Let's hope the next three days are as successful.

Maria in the classroom in Mbehni.

Today we had a day off and spent the day sightseeing. We started the day off making a de-tour with ali though, who wanted us to take some photos and footage of a school receiving some computers. Sadly there was a bit of a communication breakdown along the way meaning things didn't go quite to plan. Still found it interesting. Ali is the coolest guy ever. You know those people who just have so much charisma and warmth and wit and just everything? That's Ali. He's funny and interesting and just so good to have around. It's great having him look out for us here, even if he does purposely teach us the wrong Swahili words and phrases to create misunderstandings and awkwardness.

After the computer detour we got into a Tuk Tuk and made the now familiar bumpy ride to Fort Jesus. The whole Tuk Tuk thing is unreal. They nearly kill about twenty people every trip but manage to somehow not. I adore them.

Tuk tuk tastic.

Anyway we headed to Fort Jesus which was fantastic. The highlight though was probably the Old Town which we visited afterwards. Really cool old shops full of people trying to get you in to buy what they have to offer. We didn't hang around there too long but hopefully we'll get back again before we head off. We stopped off along the way when we met up with Eileen, Kevin and June and some coffee in the most lovely little Swahili coffee shop. Had to remove our shoes before entering. The food there was incredible, I'm really surprising myself here.

Kevin in the cafe in the Old Town.

Last night Ali took us to quite possibly the most amazing nightclub I have ever been to - situated overlooking the Indian Ocean. It's called The Florida. I tried Tequila, drank lots of Tusker and ate the most incredible bar-b-que chicken I have ever had. Something I find myself saying everyday here. At midnight a huge ship arrived into dock and passed right by the nightclub - it was amazing.

Jambo from Mombasa...

Ok, so, my severe lack of entries is not a bad sign. It's because I really haven't been able to disconnect myself from this place and write about it. I hoped I would, but so far I've just been busy taking it all in. I am in this unbelievable place having the most unbelievably experience and I couldn't be happier.

I'll write more details either when I'm back in Mombasa next week or when I get home. It's just hard to not be distracted by what's going on around me.

We did arrive safely as I'm sure most of you are aware by now. The B+B we're staying in is really lovely, I couldn't believe it. I had the worst possible expectations but this is better than some of the places I've stayed in before when touring! Lovely beds, lovely breakfasts, REALLY cold showers which works because it's so hot.

The schools so far have been brilliant. I was initially nervous about teaching but I'm really gaining confidence as we go along. The teachers are incredible. We basically get two days at every school, and have to cram in a lot of information in those two days. We've witnessed these people go from not knowing what a mouse is to writing up charts on Linux's answer to Excel. This stuff is difficult, I'd find it difficult to take it all in in two days, let alone a generation who just don't usually click as easily into computing.

Everything else is fantastic. We've eaten out most nights in lovely places. I've been extremely pleasantly surprised with the food. I adore it. I'll miss it when we leave. The chicken is the most amazing I've ever tasted. My favourite Mombasa mode of tranport would have to be the little Tuck Tucks we've been mainly travelling around in. They're like little taxis which fit only three people. Pictures coming soon. The drive is a bumpy near death experience all the way along, it's brilliant.

We also had a fantastic night out in one of the most amazing nightclubs I've ever been to the other night. It's called The Florida and is a huge bar/nightclub/restaraunt overlooking the Indian Ocean. We watched a huge ship sail in at midnight whilst drinking Tusker. It was very magical.

This stuff is very hard for me to describe to you, I really can't do it justice. But believe me this place is just something you need to experience before you die. The people here are incredible. The place is incredible. Everything about it just blew me away.

Tommorrow we head off at 7am for a lovely bumpy 8 hour ride to Lamu. Lamu sounds quite magnificant. No cars, just donkeys. We have to get a Dhow over to the Island. I doubt internet access but I can assure you lots of pictures when I get back.

I'll leave this there for now, have been hogging the B+B's computer for far too long and I need to pack.

*~Leanne~*

Heathrow Airport - Flight Delayed

But only by one hour, so it's all good. In fact it kinda suited us better in honesty. Get to relax for two minutes.

It's been a fairly mad day. Constant removing of clothing really takes it toll on you. That came out wrong. I'm tired. I mean that we have to remove shoes and belts and coats every time we reach security at every airport. It's really silly though. For instance, from Dublin to Heathrow we carried on certain items. Maria and Tom have their video cameras in a camera bag seperate to their backpacks (the small backpacks that they're using for hand luggage). There was no problem getting that on at Dublin, but it's suddenly a problem when going from Heathrow to Nairobi. But it's only a problem if they have it out, if they take the cameras and mics and chargers from the bag and put them piece by piece into everyone elses bag, it's ok. It doesn't make sense! It just adds to stress!

In other drama, June, one of Team Kenya somehow never recieved flight coupons. Ok, let me explain. We picked up our tickets from Camara last week. In the Usit folder we recieved there was a print out with all our flight info (similar to that which you recieve when travelling with Ryanair as a ticket) but unusually enough there was also several flight coupons, basically actual printed out tickets which I personally haven't seen in years.

For some weird and messed up reason, June didn't recieve the coupons, only the print out. Understandably she didn't think there was a problem, because she wasn't expecting any coupons...but...the problem was pointed out when she tried to check in and they wouldn't let her. God, the poor thing, so much stress added and the fear of not being able to make it to Africa...

Luckily she got it all sorted, finally, but it took a while and a lot of explaining and phonecalls and waiting.

So far everything's been smooth enough for myself thankfully. No problems at security, no problems with tickets, I haven't had that heart wrenching feeling of forgetting just yet. I'm a bit tired, but well fed. A little worried about my luggage and guitar which I checked in back at Dublin and won't see til Nairobi tomorrow morning, but otherwise I'm good.

Don't think we'll be sitting together on the flight over which I'm a little worried about just because I love company, but, I imagine most of the flight will be spent sleeping so I should manage. Plus we somehow managed to get premium ecconomy so we get free drink and video games and movies, so, I'm happy about that.

Hopefully this won't be my last entry for a month. And hopefully everything goes ok from here to Africa.

Over and out.

Leanne
xx

Drowney Round the World

So I've decided to turn my unspoken thoughts into a travel diary for the month of July. This Saturday I will be heading off to Africa with Camara to teach basic computer literacy in schools and colleges around Kenya. Hopefully I'll manage to find some sort of web access whilst there so I can keep you posted on my travels.

I am soooooo excited. It's the first time I'll be anywhere remotely different. I haven't been on more than a two hour flight since I was nine!

This flight will take ten hours. We'll get into Nairobi Airport on Sunday morning and then we've another short flight to Mombasa where we'll be spending two weeks. From there we'll go to Malindi and finish up in Lamu.

I think I've everything I need; malaria tablets, mosquito nets, deet, boots, sleeping bag, special pretty pink sun hat that apparently cools you down, money belt, glasses, contact lenses (which I probably won't wear thanks to stories of eye balls detaching and blindness) books, iPod, money, rehydration salts, raincoat, light clothing, etc. I've written up about ten different checklists and checked them all several times. I've been teacher trained, Dtalked, raised money, "cycled" to Belfast, read lots, got my tickets...I think I'm set.

Yesterday I recieved the latest edition of National Geographic and this month's cover article is all about MALARIA...huge writing, huge article, lots of badness...made me feel really not scared at all. Typical. At least I'm a bit more knowledgable and aware...

Anyway, hopefully there will be entries on here once I get there. And the possibility of photos although they may have to wait til I get back. Wish me luck!

*~Leanne~*

Rainy Book Girl

The way I sometimes feel...

...free.

Lonely Sailors have all the fun.

One time I wrote like a lonely sailor
But I can't find him anymore
And I might throw you a rope when you're able
Able to walk me to my own door.
Distractions are easily taken away
I learned to subtract on my first day of school
But you've proven harder to remove and delay
So I'll just be true.

Convincing myself that my actions are right
Even though down inside I know different
Oh how can I change after twenty one years?
Dismay is still sticking.

And these things I have and hold and wash
Away the day was real and hot
And I was nothing far between
The greenest side of the other green
I hope you know how much that means.

Drowney Drowns

Diluted

Veritable Mess

i wept by your graveside

i may have been invented
for you to condescend
in innocence i painted
something more for you to mend
so throw away your spirit
but please, let's not pretend
that you were honest in your downfall
and that you longed to be the end.

Unfamiliar and Lost

Don't fall in love with an invisible mess
Of things you could hold when you're put to the test
All these people I've written, invented and thrown
Will arise when the sun sets, and they'll know, and they'll know.
I drove past these places, which once sat in shadows
Unfamiliar and lost.

Writing = Frustration

arghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargh!!
arghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargh!!
arghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargharghargh!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iamcartoonlikeinmythinking

draw me in -
you drew me in
apart of something bigger.
colour me in reds and blues,
make me a happy figure.
and watch me
from the corner of the
eyes that you've been working on,
oh you're so warm and real and you -
and i was almost gone.
so in this love we'll find
we have to hide from time to time,
senseless things may take their toll,
but you will still be mine.

Epiphany

I drove away from you for some time,
Tried to hide from things you said,
Down the line til words lost meaning;
Dancing pictures in my head -
Saw my future, in one second
Bright and true and oh so free
I'll break the links with sullen people
Who seem to know what I should be.

Head Over Heart

Sign on

Tears of heartlessness silence me
You can't hide in hopelessness
I'll buy your eyes across the counter
Gold was gold...but you knew best.

Sign on, sign on
You're just another mess.

And now her mother's dying
And her father's still a cheat
I'm in the dark side of knowing
Things I didn't want to see.

Lost for words

Save me from knowing!!

Inspiration's lacking...

Empty Oceans

All these funny notions, like empty oceans
Save me everytime
Holding you in times when writing's failing
Thoughts still sailing
Sailing slowly by
Can't quite grab emotion, your devotion's
Something new and real
Thoughts won't click together
Words can never
Show the way I feel.